I'd pay good money to get an Ugly slider in the settings for Sims games. As usual, you don't have direct control, but you can click on any person or object to set your little computer person off and interacting with them or it in a manner of your choice. Once you've picked your quest, be it finding a lost boy or dealing with a growing populace of subterranean crab people, you pick a Hero (to start with the choice is limited to your monarch) and only then does the game begin following them in the traditional and much-loved Sims style. Rather, your time with Medieval is structured around "Quests" which, if we're running with the soap opera analogy, could be compared to individual episodes. Yet while this is a Sims game, Medieval does not then set you free, allowing you to simply climb a sturdy ladder of self-improvement or create a self-important fat dude who'll make womanising laps of the neighbourhood. As the game begins you're given charge of a handsome king or pretty queen of your own design, a small castle, and a whole lot of empty land. The Sims Medieval is best described as an interactive soap opera, set in a strictly candy-coated interpretation of the Middle Ages. The Sims Medieval is like nothing else I've ever played. Here's the best thing I have to say about The Sims Medieval, and it's coming at you right this second like a fat child scudding down a water slide.
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